Fanfiction for Dummies: The Naruto Edition
by X-Cubed
Summary: A how to guide to fanfiction in the spirit the Blank for Dummies books.
1. Introduction

**X-Cubed's Fanfiction for Dummies: The Naruto Edition**

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Naruto, Choose Your Own Adventure, any of the blank for Dummies books, mental retardation, or hookers.

**Summary: **A how-to guide on Naruto fanfiction

**Introduction**

The how to books for Dummies have become increasingly popular these days. It seems that everywhere you turn there's some idiot reading one of those books. Computers for Dummies, Finances for Dummies, Cooking for Dummies, hell there's probably even Sex for Dummies (oh wait...breaking news just in, there is, it's called a hooker). Yet Fanfiction for Dummies has, sadly, not been published. This is rather unfortunate because it is one of the most needed books in the For Dummies series. There are many many so called fanfiction authors who should not be writing fanfiction. In fact, the sucky writers out number the decent writers twenty to one. And when we say sucky, we mean it in the worst possible way. Sucky as in their writing leaves readers with the following symptoms: nausea, heartburn, seizures, temporary or permanent brain damage and/or paralysis, urine stains from laughing or crying so hard they pissed themselves, and/or brain freeze. Because we have had these symptoms at one point or another, we have decided to write this much needed guide in hopes that it will help even one of those brain addled worthless writers fix or improve their fanfictions. Without farther ado, we present X-Cubed's Fanfiction for Dummies.

X, F, and O


	2. Plot

Plot

**Plot**

Well, it goes without saying that a story is nothing without a plot. Unfortunately, Xyyx, the writing fairy, never told this little tidbit to a lot of people. This is obvious in the sheer number of fanfictions that have either a pathetic excuse of a plot or none at all. So we'll say it to save Xyyx the trouble of whipping out his wand and engraving it in your ass. The plot is the most important part of a fanfiction. You must not only have a plot for the story to flow and make sense, but it must be a decent plot, with at least one interesting element to it. We say decent because we know some people have no imaginations or skills and therefore cannot make spectacular or even good plot lines.

The plot must draw the reader in, hook, line and sinker. It must make them want to read the story. That's why having one is so gosh-darn significant. Now that we've explained that to the people who need to hear it, let's get to explaining how to think up and execute a plot.

Now most of the following will be pretty standard elementary school English. To give some people the benefit of the doubt, we're sure has some writers still in elementary school. Since they might not have gotten to this yet, or might simply have missed those days, we'll keep this nice and simple.

A story must have a beginning, middle, and an end. Therefore, a plot must have a beginning, middle, and an end. Was that difficult for anyone? No? Then let's continue.

Now it really doesn't matter where the original plot happened. You can begin with the start, the finish, or the in between. It doesn't matter as long as you have all three. Which brings us to our next point: once you have all three, make sure that they all work together. The beginning cannot be completely different than the middle; the ending cannot contradict the beginning. Say if your original idea was a NaruHina where Hinata confesses her love to Naruto at the beginning of the story, you can't have her twiddling her fingers and wishing she could tell him of her love three paragraphs later. That's called plot skipping and that's bad. Make sure the story flows together in a way that will make sense to the reader. Not just to you, but to the reader.

That's explained and understood, right? Sadly, this is where the tricky part comes in. There are five crucial parts of a plot. You need all these plots for the story to properly support it's self.

The first part is the introduction or the beginning of a story. It's the first couple of paragraphs where the characters and setting is revealed. So to go back to our example of a NaruHina story, this is where you'd introduce them to the reader and tell where they are, such as training in Konoha or on a mission in Suna. Basically, this is the part of the story where you get out all the important basic stuff leading to the…

Rising action, where the events in the story get complicated and the conflict is revealed. This is where a problem involving one or both of the characters arises. For example, say Naruto and Hinata are escorting a feudal lord from his country to the Hidden Mist Village; this is the part where a group of evil, horny ninjas attack the group, intent on killing the lord and capturing Hinata for her use as a fem-bot substitute. This part can be as long as you want, though we would recommend no more than six paragraphs. It should lead up to the big bang known as the climax.

The climax is the most interesting part of the story and also the turning point. It leaves the reader wondering what's going to happen. For our lovely NaruHina, this would be where the lord gets severely wounded and the ninjas capture Hinata. This would leave a reader wondering if Naruto's going to go after Hinata, and if he does, will he get to her in time. It would leave them wondering if Naruto would save the lord instead of Hinata and, if so, what's going to happen to poor little Hinata?

The falling action ties up all these loose ends. It's where the reader finds out what happened and if the conflict was resolved. To wrap up your story, the falling action should be followed by the denouement, the final outcome of the story. In our mini one it would be where Naruto rescued Hinata and gets the lord to the Mist in time to save his life. It would be where Hinata confesses her love and Naruto reciprocates.

Make sure your plot is well thought out and semi-original. Nobody wants to read the same thing written by a thousand different authors. Really, there's no need of another truth or dare story, another kunoichi sleepover story, another Ask The Characters Of Naruto story, or another character meets original character and they fall in love story. If you insist on doing one that has been done many times in the past, such as a story where Sasuke returns to Konoha to find Sakura ready to accept him back and love him again, try to put a unique twist on it. Have Sakura in love with Shino and distrustful of Sasuke, with Sasuke realizing what he missed out on and dying without a happy ever after. If character death isn't your cup of tea, simply have him defect again. In short, be unique. Be different. Be edgy.

X, F, and O


	3. Characters

Characters

**Characters**

Okay, we're going to cap lock this following sentence in hopes that it will be more noticeable to all those who need to read it. KNOW YOUR CHARACTERS! If you are writing a Naruto fanfiction, it's safe to assume that you are a fan of the anime and/or manga. By extension, you're most likely a fan of the characters. So why the hell are there so many stories that appear to be written by people who known next to nothing about Naruto? Either the writer's misspelling the names of characters (who the hell in Tamere and Goraa) or their mixing up characters completely (such as calling Shino Kankuro and so on). To top it all off, these and lots of other stories usually have the character horribly out of character. Now, first off, I accept some OOC'ness in AU stories and completely accept it for humor or parody purposes. Crack is good; it feeds my mini OOC addiction. However, when it's done in a story that is supposed to be serious and moving it disgusts me. Stop twisting these wonderful characters to suit your own depraved whims or keep those ideas in your head.

Just because you're a hopeless Sakura and Sasuke shipper, this does not give you the right to write stories where Sasuke suddenly comes stumbling back into Konoha, bloody and dying (with no consequences of course) and ends up breaking down and crying like a little baby (in Sakura's arms of course, after she heals him) and tells Sakura how much he always loved her and still does. It's weird and extremely creepy for the following reason. One, Sasuke wouldn't return to Konoha. In fact, if we're reading the manga right, he's all for destroying Konoha as we know it. And even if he did return, there would be serious consequences for his actions. He'd most likely be put to death or locked up for his defection. He is an S-ranked missing-nin after all. At the very least, he'd be forbidden to ever live life as a shinobi again and have his chakra sealed. Second, Uchiha's don't cry. They don't sob. They don't break down and cry like little girls. It's undignified. Seriously, where in the anime and/or manga do you see Sasuke cry? Outside of flashbacks, of course. Nowhere. Sasuke is not sad, he's not guilty, or anything but obsessive compulsive about power, strength, and vengeance for the Uchiha's. Third, while we are sure he did care about Sakura at some point, we see no signs that he is or ever was in love with her or that they will end up together. Sasuke's asexual and will die a virgin. Also, he's the strong, broody, silent type. He would not babble on and on. So stop making him chatty and hysterical and witty.

Another one that pisses a lot of people off is stories where Ino's a bitch because of the Ino-Sakura thing. If Ino's a bitch because she's not friends with Sakura anymore, then Sakura must be the she-devil for breaking off that friendship. Remember, both of them are at fault in that one.

Other things that aren't going to happen: Shikamaru's not energetic. He's never going to be energetic. He's not going to run after a woman as she runs away from him because he called her troublesome. Also, all women are troublesome to him. No original character could come in and make him whipped in a couple of days and have him bending over to kiss her ass. Well, maybe the last part, he always seemed a little kinky to me. Choji is not anorexic, and he's not going to go on a diet to impress some girl. He does not have a thing for Temari, and will never confess his gay love for Shikamaru. Neji is never going to be happy and bubbly. Hinata will never be completely confident and take charge. She'll never be a bitch. Sakura will never be completely heartless and mean.

That list goes on and on, but you get the point. Making the characters this way really upsets a lot of fans. Again, out of character is permissible for the sake of humor.


	4. OC's and Sues

OC's and Sues

**OC's and Sues**

First off, original characters are not endorsed or recommended by any of the X-Cubed team. 100 of them suck. That's right, we said it. All of them suck. We've never read one original character story that any of us have cared for. They always end up being some shameless self insertion/ wish fulfillment/ fantasy girl/ fantasy guy/ all powerful/ over trying/ under trying piece of crap that hooks up with the author's favorite character, infinitely changes the live of one of the characters, and of course, impresses everyone with their mad hot ninja skills. Oh and of course, they'll be hot/ beautiful/ cute/ adorable. Basically, every OC is a Mary Sue or just as annoying.

Just stop writing them. It's okay to imagine an OC and play out a thousand different scenarios with them in your head. God knows, each of us in X-Cubed do. We each have our own OC's, or in X's case, multiple ones. We daydream about them, role-play with them, and talk to each other about them. We're just smart enough not to write stories about them and publish them. Follow our example kiddies. Be smart. Save us all from Sue-itis.


	5. Writing

Writing

**Writing**

Do us a favor. Open Microsoft Word up. Look up top. See that little button right below the format tab. Its a little checkmark with A, B, and C written above it. It's the spell check button. Click that button after every paragraph you write and then at least twice at the end of writing something, just for good measure.

It's seriously twitch worthy when you can't enjoy reading a story because of all the spelling errors. Spell check was designed for the spelling inept, so please learn the use of the button. It's not hard.

We are also anti text/chat talk. When writing a story, take the time to write out your words, you lazy bum. Naruto was not LOL'ing at something, he was laughing out loud. Text talk makes you appear stupid and annoying. It also makes quite a few readers automatically click the back button on their screens when they see it.

Also, writing with numbers is outlawed by the grammar police. Culprits will be rounded up and branded with O's official "I'm a moron" brand. To and too are not to be replaced with 2. In fact, two shouldn't be replaced with it either, since all numbers under ten should be written out. Forever is not spelled 4ever.

Next point. What the fuck is up with sentences consistently being interrupted with 111ONE!!1! Really the only excuse for that is mental retardation or being blind. USE SPELL CHECK!

Punctuation is a key component of your writing. Believe us when we tell you that periods are your friends. Not every sentence needs to be followed by an exclamation point. Nobody is excited and perky and bouncy all the time. And if you are, there are drugs for that. Take some and begin learning the wonders of the dot known as a period. Also, know when to use periods instead of commas. A story should not consist of three long ass run on sentences. It's very confusing when that happens. Additionally, question marks only belong at the end of questions. Kakashi walked over to his team is not a question and should not be followed by a question mark. Unless you're writing a Naruto version of the Choose Your Own Adventure books and that option is followed by Kakashi walked up to a hooker. Then it's permissible.

We all know that Naruto is a Japanese manga. We are not idiots. We know this. But most of the Naruto fanfictions are written in English. So why exactly are there random Japanese words thrown in there? It's done by authors to make themselves feel smart and needs to stop. Pick one language and one language only.


	6. Conclusion

Conclusion

**Conclusion**

Well, despite our adamant declaration that you would not see anything posted by us, we have in fact written and completed a story. We had a lot of fun writing this, and sincerely hope that it will help all those linguistically challenged saps out there write better stories.

We are of course prepared for any and all flames. We know that telling it like it is earns you those. They'll be used to toast all the bad fanfiction written. Also, if we missed anything that irks any of you, please tell us what it is and we'll be sure to dedicate a chapter on it to you.

X, F, and O


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